Damnation

in the flesh.

They say in Heaven, you relive the best of your life.
Memories replay like living truths, and for eternity you live in peace and serenity.

They say some won’t make it there.
With peace, comes darkness – and some choose it.

Some souls end up here.
Those who transgressed against their own truths, now seeking retribution instead of absolution.
But never redemption, no.

Redemption is for those with hope.
I have no hope for this life.
This is the path I chose.
To suffer in Heaven’s shadow – an eternity of damnation by my own design.

And like all masochists, I call the shots here.
Piece by piece, I break into the wreckage I called a life, peeling back all that was buried deep beneath the guilt.
I want to feel the damage I’ve done.
Burn me to ash.
Freeze me solid.
Eat me alive until there is no flesh left.
Rip me apart so I feel every tear in my skin.
I don’t need to ask.
I won’t need to cry.

There is no devil here to blame.
No god to beg.
Just me, and the ruins I built with my own hands, brick by heavy brick.
I have earned every wound.
Catalogued every scar.

And when the last of me has been stripped down to nerve and marrow —
I will not ask for mercy.
I will not ask for anything.
This is what I came for.
This is what I am—
Damnation in the flesh.

Redemption be damned.